Porn Star First Date
or
My ‘G’ Rated Date of an ‘X’ Rated Actress
This past week I
found love on a first date with a woman I met through the internet.
Unfortunately,
the woman was in love with herself. I guess when your career includes appearing
in 180 pornographic films that is to be expected.
How did my porn
star date happen and what occurred? Glad you asked.
I have a profile
on a free dating site that I call “OkStupid”. (The real name is “OkCupid”.) Each
week the website emails me a “quiver” of 3 women’s profiles, usually singles
who live in Marin, who are age appropriate, and have recently joined OKStupid
or updated their ads.
If you have read
many dating profiles, like I have, they generally follow a simple format that includes
a list of activities, hobbies, vocation, travels, and traits that that show how
special they are, (Yes, they are unique, just like everyone else.), and also
what they are looking for in a relationship. A theme that is often repeated is,
“I am a fabulous person with a wonderful life and all that is missing is a
partner”.
However one of
the profiles in the recent “quiver” email that I received was different, as the first line read,
“Yes, it is really I”. I found this interesting because after perusing hundreds
of profiles I have never seen that sentence before.
My guess was that
the opening line meant that she was well known, but the pictures of an attractive
woman, in her upper 50’s, and a standard list of activities she was interested
in, including favorite movies, and music she listened to, gave me no clue to
her identity.
But there was an
obvious pointer to help me determine who this woman was. Her profile name.
Single’s ads have
clever profile names, such as “OutdoorLover” or “TheGirl4U” to catch attention.
It is not a good idea to use a
first and last name as a profile name as people want to maintain some sense of anonymity.
But she chose to use her full name so it was easy for me to Google her, which I
did and it came up with 3,170,000 hits. This included lots of links to videos but
also to these two informative websites:
From Wikipedia,
“Annette H_____ is a former American pornographic actress popular during the 1970s and 1980s.
Annette was born in Las Vegas, Nevada, USA, and raised in a sexually conservative Mormon family. H_____ later claimed that part of
her reason for entering porn was that she wanted to show that "sex is not
sinful" and could be pleasurable.
H_____
moved to San Francisco, where she began dancing in erotic shows,
and eventually worked as a stripper.
Annette H_____
went on to work in more than 180 porn movies. Annette H_____ is a member of the
AVN (Adult Video News) and XRCO (X-Rated Critic Organization) Halls of
Fame.”
From IMBD:
“Annette H_____is considered a legend in
the porn business and ironically, something of a feminist.
Her regal
(and somewhat aloof) bearing got her often cast as an angelic-looking virgin or
femme fatale. Not only was she considered one of the best looking women in the
industry, she could act, too, as evidenced by her adult film best actress award for A Coming of Angels (1977).
Her
feminist streak seems strange considering the business she was in, but she
refused to do scenes that included violence or "money shots." She
retired from adult films, her legendary reputation intact, in the late 1980s
and lives in Mill Valley, CA with her husband.”
Wow!
I told a
couple of friends about the former porn star on my internet dating site, and a
few days later on a whim I wrote to her, and included my phone number. She
called me that day, and we chatted on the phone. Actually she did most of the
talking and she came across as bright and articulate, but also somewhat loose
in her train of thought, and a touch paranoid when talking about drivers on the
road trying to kill her.
I think we
briefly touched on her career but it was a small component of the conversation
and we agreed to a first date to take place at Sabor of Spain, a restaurant in
San Rafael.
Why was I
going out with her?
Did I
consider her relationship material? No. Did I want sex? No, I am currently
seeing a woman. I think really I just wanted to have the experience of it. I
was intrigued with the unlikely combination of porn star and feminist. Also,
how often is it possible to see a nude picture of a first date before actually
meeting her? Okay, the pictures were from 30 years ago, (and before Brazilian
waxes were popular) but still that is interesting to me.
After I
figured out who she was, I emailed my friend Mark, who I have known for about
20 years. We have maintained an email relationship even after he moved to the
east coast and from there to Europe.
I knew
Mark liked porno films, and of all my friends I guessed he would be the one of
the few, or the only one, who would have heard of Annette. What I didn’t know
about Mark (or remembered if he had told me) was that he wrote film reviews of
dirty movies. He emailed:
“You have
a date with Annette H_____? I'm very familiar with her...um...work.
Tell her I wrote the movie reviews for Screw Magazine in the ‘70s and
hung out with Harry Reems. Tell her I gave "Barbara Broadcast"
a very good review (It was one of my favorites).”
I got to
the Sabor of Spain a few minutes before the meeting time and was sitting at the
bar and talking to Scott, the owner, when I saw a woman tottering up 4th
Street in towering high heels, dressed in a tight fitting short teal dress, a
hat, and gloves that came up to her mid forearms. Gloves?
One look
at this woman, whose clothing was so different than other women walking in
downtown San Rafael, and I said to Scott that must be my date. His comment was
“good luck”.
Annette’s
personality was like her style of dress, and came across in an affectatious
manner, and she talked in a breathy undertone, in a somewhat disjointed style
that made it difficult to follow what she was saying. Overall I thought she was
trying to impress me, both with her intelligence (she is the only woman to tell
me her IQ on a date-“152”) and also with names of semi-famous people (Bo
Derrick, Robert Evans) that she worked with.
Our
conversation was wide ranging, and even include politics where she assured me
that Romney, as a Mormon, didn’t stand a chance of being elected.
I did ask
her some questions about the adult film industry, and I learned things I didn’t
know before (I wasn’t familiar with a “stunt cock”). She told me she got into
adult films in order to “educate people”. Yeah, right.
Of course,
like many self absorbed people, she didn’t ask me about myself, but I managed
to talk a bit about my work history as a recreation therapist and owner of a
small business, none of which seemed to interest her much, and compared to her career
as porno actress/stripper/dancer it did come across as mundane, even to me.
Most
people on first dates don’t bring a camera, but Annette pulled a large SLR out
of her bag (she doesn’t own a cell phone) and we asked another patron to take
our picture (see attached, which is from her Facebook page) before I walked her
back to her car and we had a polite and chaste kiss.
As I have
noted in the past, the people who like internet dating the best are our
friends, who get to hear all the stories, without having to deal with the anxiety,
rejections, strangeness of it all.
But my
date with Annette was something I enjoyed. If I ever go to the Exotic/Erotic
Ball or get an invite to a costume party I know the woman who would be the
perfect companion.
Danny
Forer
July 2012
